Without getting into all the details, last night I had sort of a breakdown. A handful of different anxieties were coming together, and bam! My composure, which had already been slowly crumbling on the Metro, fell apart, and I barely made it out of the station and into the car before I just started bawling in front of Thom, who came to pick me up. I couldn’t explain why I had such an intense reaction to my issues, which taken individually are actually rather benign and manageable. I guess I had been turning them all over in my head all day and this was how my system decided to deal with it. A big ol’ cry. Thom helped me talk things through, for which I’m grateful. I’m much better now.
xoxo
The Swedes say that about this time the lack of your regular dose of sunlight really wreaks havoc with the psyche. It is darkest during December, but it hits now because it is a cumulative deficiency. Some people are just more sensitive to it than others.
Or else it is the combined effect of a lot of benign and manageable bothers.
Either way, what Susan said.
I understand that sort of thing very well. Hope things are better now.
Oh Jeff!!!!! I’m sorry that I just found out about this! My phone’s and IM is always available (though my response may be somewhat delayed).
*hugs*
*big hug*
In a duel between you and the world, you and your irrepressible sassiness will always win :)
When I read your post about this I remembered this poem by Judith Wright.
Reason and unreason
When I began to test my heart,
its laws and fantasies, against the world,
the pain of impact made me sad.
Where heart was curved the world ran straight,
where it lay warm the world came cold.
It seemed my heart, or else the world, was mad.
Could I reject arithmetics,
their plain unanswerable arguings,
or find a cranny outside categories,
where two and two made soldiers, love or six?
My heart observed the silence round its songs,
the indifference that met its stories;
believed itself a changeling crazed,
and bowed its head to every claim of reason;
but then stood up and realized
when work is over love begins its season;
each day is contraried by night
and Caesar’s coin is paid for Venus’ rite;
and knew its fantasies, since time began,
outdone by earth’s wild dreams, Plant, Beast and Man.
©Judith Wright, 1962