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September 23, 2004

Two words: open bar

Salt Lake Metro opinion columnist Laurie Mecham provides a tongue-in-cheek guide to gay wedding etiquette. For example, on invitations:

For your guest’s convenience and the purpose of planning, include an RSVP card. Again, you can use the traditional format:

_____ will be pleased to attend the reception.

Or you can modify the response card to fit your theme or circumstances, as a gay couple I know did:

(Check one):
  • What a brilliant way to disrupt the patriarchal, heterosexist paradigm. We will be there in solidarity for the movement.
  • If it will make you happy, we affirm your choice without judgment and will attend.
  • We find this fad alarming. We must decline, and hope that you will reconsider your choice.
  • We refuse to participate in the further destruction of America’s Christian values, including normal marriage. The next time we see you will be in hell.

Ha. On the reception: “Everyone loves a beautifully decorated venue with an eclectic, thoughtful selection of music and some lovely Spanish tapas. However, the key to a successful reception really lies in these two words: ‘open bar.’”

She ends with this nugget of wisdom on costs: “And remember, when in doubt, the father of the bottom pays.”

» “Wedding Belles,” Salt Lake Metro, 2-15 Sept. 2004 (via Nick).